September
2010
I think the end is nearing188
It seems that Tshuvah is clearly failing now. We got back home exactly a week ago, and about 4 days ago she started really having trouble moving around. She tires easily. And she’s not eating well. Today all she ate was ice cream at 9pm, after refusing elk jerky and salmon, her two usual favorites. Granted my husband, daughter and I were out most of the day and Tshuvah never eats well if she hasn’t exercised; but that’s the catch-22; it seems she can’t really exercise anymore which affects her appetite. Yesterday she made it to our neighbor’s driveway on our walk but seemed not to even really want to do that. Tonight she went partly down our driveway but clearly didn’t want to be going even that far, so we came back. She has so many skin tumors that being petted seems to make her anxious so I just hold her cheek in my hand.
I saw a bright first star tonight and wished that Tshuvah’s passage will be quick, painless, merciful and not scary for her. I’m about to have a heart attack myself from the stress and worry; crying a lot. I have been assuming that she will bleed out and die on her own but tonight I realize I might have to help her across before she bleeds out. She is still enjoying going to the park and she can still get up and out to pee or lie in the sun. I guess when I can’t even say these few positive things, it will be time to help her if she hasn’t already passed.
I can’t believe I’m even writing these words. Heart broken.
Beth
I wish for Tshuvah a smooth passage, I am sure your loving touch on the cheek is sweet and soothing.
Sending peace to you all.
Angel JD’s mom
I am so sad after having read your post. All I can say is that you have spoiled her, loved her, and treasured every moment with her and that is all you can do. Every owner gets to that point when they just “know” its time. It is always so hard to let go of the one you love.
We lost our dog Bonnie to lymphoma quite a few years ago only a year after her diagnosis (and chemo sessions). She was the first dog I grew up with and the first family member that had passed. It was hard to deal with the tidal wave of emotions that flowed after she was gone…
But I do know that Tshuvah will always be with you; in your heart and in spirit. You should know that the WHOLE tripawd community is here to support you when the time comes to let Tshuvah go. We will be right here waiting.
-Chloe’s mom
sometimes, the best thing we can do is say, ‘it’s ok, you’ve done your job and you’ve done it well’. tshuvah has done her job well, and she deserves a rest.
beth, we’re thinking of you and tshuvah today.
charon & gayle
I’ve just been in touch with our vet and we are planning to have to come to the house next weekend, her first opportunity. We will pamper Tshuvah all week and make sure she’s not in any pain. Today we’re taking her up to the mountains to sit by the creek and smell all the good mountain smells. Thank you all for your support.
Beth
This is heartbreaking. I am so sad for you as you embark on this last journey.
You and Tshuvah have been so very brave. It’s hard to let go, Beth, but as Charon & Gayle said, you’ve both done your jobs and done them well.
My thoughts are with you.
Hugs.
I hope you and Tshuvah enjoyed your time by the creek. Sounds like a beautiful place to share time with her. I’m thinking about you today, and the difficult time ahead. You are embarking on a tough journey, but it is the most loving, selfless gift you will ever give Tshuvah. Now, go spoil her like crazy!
Lisa (Sadie’s mom)
More thoughts and prayers are coming your way.
Beth, we’re so sorry. This is such a tough call but you know Tshuvah better than anyone else. Ask yourself, at what point would she not want to continue on? Will she be OK needing help to go potty or not? Is she happy just soaking up the sun or does she need more than that to be happy?
This “Defining Quality of Life” post might help.
http://www.pet-loss.net/quality.shtml
Please know we are all thinking of you and here when you want to talk OK?
Thanks, that quality of life post was helpful. There’s no doubt that this week is the week. I’m figuring out how best to juggle Tshuvah’s needs along with my daughter starting kindergarten and the Jewish High Holidays all in the same 3 days. Ridiculous! But I will figure it out, for Tshuvah’s sake. I spoke with our preferred animal communicator today. She suggested that Tshuvah was still “in process” with acceptance of her impending passage and would be ready in a few days, and that Tshuvah wanted help to pass over. My assessment of Tshuvah’s condition mirrors that exactly so our timing with the vet on Saturday should be perfect…well, as perfect as we can try to make anything, in particular this very very sad “thing”. She is still loving her visits to the park and her homemade buffalo stew.
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